Deep Thoughts

I've been thinking on the subject of "family" for a while now, and I think that's the subject I'll address today.

When I was teaching, I taught a short unit on the family. We defined "family" as "a group of people who live together and love each other." Many of my students were not from a traditional family, and so we decided the expanded definition was better. But our definition covered the people in a home--the definition of "family" is much broader than that.

We have, to my way of thinking, several "families" that we belong to. Of course, there's our blood family. They're related to us and we have special ties to all of them. We have "families" of people we work with, associate with, and go to Church with. And then there's our "chosen" family members. These are the people who we've chosen to become part of our family. They're as good as a blood relative. You love them as if you were related.

Does this make your blood family less important? Of course not! But we don't always live in a situation where we have access to our blood family. Sometimes they can't (or won't) step in to help us. Sometimes they've died, and we don't have access to them at this time. And our "chosen" family can fill in the cracks.

In our Church, we believe that we lived with God in Heaven, BEFORE we were born. This belief makes us somewhat unique, I know. But I like to think that sometimes when we "connect" with someone and feel like we've known them forever, it's because we have. Our spirits recognize each other from "before." I've met many such people.

I never fully understood the importance of my "chosen" family until I moved away from my blood family. For 30+ years, almost all of my family lived within a 30-minute drive. I have been very fortunate to have known all of my grandparents, and some of my great-grandparents. I saw my family on a frequent basis, and moving away from my hometown was VERY difficult because I couldn't just go see them whenever I wanted. When we first got here, I was so relieved to go to Church the first time, because I knew that I had a new Church family who could help me if I needed help. In the 3 years that we've been here, I've made some new "chosen" family members. Because I spend a lot of time with other Moms, most of my chosen family are "sisters from another mother." We don't have the history (or baggage) that I share with my own sisters from birth, but my relationship with them are equally important. I can pick up the phone and call my sisters (and brother), and I can see them a few times a year when I go back and visit (0r they come here), but I don't get to share in their lives like I used to. If I got into an accident and broke my leg, my birth family couldn't drop everything and drive 6 hours to come help me. But my chosen family members could band together and help me. Because we do stuff like that for each other.

They are the "other" mothers of my children. And through them, I have "other" children too. It's great! We uplift and serve each other as if we really were related. When they have great things happen, we cheer with them. And when life throws them a curve ball, we cry with them. And when our circumstances change and we must move away from each other, we grieve that loss as if we were related by blood.

I'm so grateful for my "chosen" family! They go beyond the bounds of friendship to really earn a place in my heart. They teach me things and enrich my life. And I don't think I say thank you enough for all that I have gained by having them in my life. So thank you "chosen" family, thank you to ALL of my family!